My Random Thoughts and Experiences

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Women and Goldigging!!!


Now i think I am sick and tired of hearing people say..."oh you have to have money before you can open your mouth to talk to a girl" or " Women and money". All this just drives me crazy, it makes me wonder so many things. I do understand that there are some gold diggers in this world and from one of my General Psy. classes i learned that Men are more likely to marry because of Love than Money but Women are more likely to marry for Money or security than love...hmmmmmmmm

Now i would give you different scenarios and ask if these women are gold diggers or not. I would stick to "made up names" so as not to identify any race or ethnic group with anything. I'm a lover of the world..I would write one name now and people go dey fire me with cyber bullets that I am sterotyping.....lol

Seefilis
is your typical girl just finishing from college and job hunting, she is approached my many but when choosing, she takes into consideration of those that would compliment her. Her parents are on her case to find a husband quick quick and she sees her friends already marrying or on the verge. There are a couple of male interests, but everyone seems to have comas and question marks.Trojayjay is still in college trying to finish his unending degree, G-sirk has been looking for a job for 4 years, and then there is Durects who apparently has a job and things are going on well with him. Now Seefilis decides to pick Durects to be her boo.... is she a Gold digger???

Herpeas is a woman who is striving for the top. She holds a master degree and has outlined her success path in life. she would not be mediocre but would strive to attain the highest level in her career. Now Herpeas and Crown have been dating since high school. Everyone had believed they'd end up getting married. However problems have aways escalated due to Crowns mediocre behavior to success. Crown enjoys his 9-5 normal job and is ok with the idea of such for the rest of his life. When Herpeas trys to talk to him about his long term career goals...he has no answer or clue. Its very obvious that if Herpeas is not making more money that Crown now, she will eventually do so in the future. Now Herpeas decides to end it all that she needs a man who would be on the same page in terms of career goals.
Is herpeas a gold digger?

Esteedis has just finished her undergraduate degree and decides to enrol into a gradaute program in the hope of finding a man while in grad school. She does not intend to work after school and hopes to be the best house wife she can be. A career is just not her cup of tea, but to be able to find such a man that would "compliment" her..she needs to strategically locate herself in places that such "potentially successful" men would be. Her mother has slaved and worked hard and got no rewards for doing such, so she inturn would like to turn the tables and 'enjoy" on behalf of her mother. Lyfestyl is looking promising as a very inteligent man in her grad class. He looks like a CEO material in the future and she plans on doing everything in her power to get him.
Is she a Gold digger?

To me I think the young girls who go for the 50+ men i believe are the only Gold diggers. Everyone likes good things. These men that are complaining that women are gold digggers..i mean if a man has 2 job offers...one offering $30,000 a year and the other with $120,000 abeg which one you go pick? One thing people should realize that it is not only 'LOVE" that keeps people together, but this does not mean one should marry solely for money. To me I intend to make my own money and be successful too...so its either you are secure enough or u strive to "out money " me.

I mean people would complain shes a gold digger then complain again that "oh she's too successful or too independent'
Abeg, bikko , ofaneh ,please which one you want...(i diverted)

Gold Digger or Not!!!!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Too Fussy or not???

Before I begin to explain, I would like to do a quick disclaimer

Femi b loves equality amongst everyone. She is not a hater of any gender!!!! I am not a man hater neither do I burn bras. I do love men and Nigerian men top the list once a while. I just only like to stand for equality ..especially gender equality.

Ok, this fuss started when i had to do some research for class on Compressed Natural gas for cars...boring u might say but believe me thats the way forward in the next 20 years.... Anyway the research was extremely boring that I later found myself reading the Nigerian constitution....(lol wouldn't that be from frying pan to fire?) Well, to my surprise it was an interesting read because by the time I was half way through it..I was mad.It seems those who wrote the constitution completely forgot women existed in Nigeria. I mean, it was so gender specific...obviously gearing towards men, that I wondered what happened to all the female lawyers????

Every line included "his", "he", "him" and I wondered if in Nigeria, there were only 140 million men. Also there was a part in it that said a woman can become a Nigerian citizen if her husband is Nigerian and they completely left out the part of the reverse. Meaning if a Nigerian woman married a man......would she have the same rights? ..as that was completely eliminated from the constitution.Now people can say oh Femi b..your own too much...you are reading too much meaning into it...ahah even the bible says "man"kind and 'son" of God...does it mean they have neglected women? Well my response to that is 'when you have men writing things, there is usually a bias as to how they tell it i.e using he, him, mankind..etc and it is left for we women to correct and check it. I repeat ...what happened to all the female lawyers that study this constitution, in fact, I would call my sister tomorrow

I even went as far as looking at the United States constitution to find out if it had the same thing since the Federal republic of Nigeria is kinda modeled after the United States system. Well my findings were different..it had "people", "individual", "person" and was never gender specific.Now my thing is if they say they really want participation from women in government, they should first start my removing all gender specific grammar from the constitution and then we can proceed from there. Below are some excerpts from the Nigerian constitution 1999, and see if I am making too much fuss about the whole thing

.1) Subject to the provisions of section 28 of this Constitution, a person to whom the provisions of this section apply may be registered as a citizen of Nigeria, if the President is satisfied that -
(a) he is a person of good character;
(b) he has shown a clear intention of his desire to be domiciled in Nigeria; and
(c) he has taken the Oath of Allegiance prescribed in the Seventh Schedule to this Constitution.
(2) the provisions of this section shall apply to-
(a) any woman who is or has been married to a citizen of Nigeria; or
(b) every person of full age and capacity born outside Nigeria any of whose grandparents is a citizen of Nigeria.
There is also a part that says any woman that is married has reached full age..in other words..if a man marries a 9 year old girl, she has reached "full age" and is liable to vote???? weird isnt it.
(4) For the purposes of subsection (1) of this section.
a) "full age" means the age of eighteen years and above;
(b) any woman who is married shall be deemed to be of full age.


I thought this was very interesting and i thought i should share. Am I being to fussy or what?
http://www.nigeria-law.org/ConstitutionOfTheFederalRepublicOfNigeria.html

Too fussy or not?


Before I begin to explain, I would like to do a quick disclaimer

Femi b loves equality amongst everyone. She is not a hater of any gender!!!! I am not a man hater neither do i burn bras. I do love men and Nigerian men top the list once a while. I just only like to stand for equality ..especially gender equality.

Ok, this fuss started when i had to do some research for class on Compressed Natural gas for cars...boring u might say but believe me thats the way forward in the next 20 years.... Anyway the research was extremely boring that i later found myself reading the Nigerian constitution....(lol wouldn't that be from frying pan to fire?) Well, to my surprise it was an interesting read because by the time I was half way through it..I was mad.

It seems those who wrote the constitution completely forgot women existed in Nigeria. I mean it was so gender specific...obviously gearing towards men, that I wondered what happened to all the female lawyers????

Every line included "his", "he", "him" and I wondered if in Nigeria, there were only 140 million men. Also there was a part in it that said a woman can become a Nigerian citizen if her husband is Nigerian and they completely left out the part of the reverse. Meaning if a Nigerian woman married a man......would she have the same rights? ..as that was completely eliminated from the constitution.

Now people can say oh Femi b..your own too much...you are reading too much meaning into t...ahah even the bible says "man"kind and 'son" of God...does it mean they have neglected women? Well my response to that is 'when you have men writing things, there is usually a bias as to how they tell it i.e using he, him, mankind..etc and it is left for we women to correct and check it. I repeat ...what happened to all the female lawyers that study this constitution, in fact, I would call my sister tomorrow

I even went as far as looking at the United states constitution to find out if it had the same thing since the Federal republic of Nigeria is kinda modeled after the United states system..Well my findings were different..it had "people", "individual", "person" and was never gender specific.

Now my thing is if they say they really want participation from women in government, they should first start my removing all gender specific grammar from the constitution and then we can proceed from there.Below are some excerpts from the Nigerian constitution 1999, and see if i am making too much fuss about the whole thing.
1) Subject to the provisions of section 28 of this Constitution, a person to whom the provisions of this section apply may be registered as a citizen of Nigeria, if the President is satisfied that -

(a) he is a person of good character;

(b) he has shown a clear intention of his desire to be domiciled in Nigeria; and

(c) he has taken the Oath of Allegiance prescribed in the Seventh Schedule to this Constitution.

(2) the provisions of this section shall apply to-

(a) any woman who is or has been married to a citizen of Nigeria; or

(b) every person of full age and capacity born outside Nigeria any of whose grandparents is a citizen of Nigeria.

There is also a part that says any woman that is married has reached full age..in other words..if a man marries a 9 year old girl, she has reached "full age" and is liable to vote???? weird isnt it.

(4) For the purposes of subsection (1) of this section.

a ) "full age" means the age of eighteen years and above;

(b) any woman who is married shall be deemed to be of full age.


T I thought this was very interesting and i thought i should share. Am I being too fussy?

extra extracted from

http://www.nigeria-law.org/ConstitutionOfTheFederalRepublicOfNigeria.html


Am I

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Am I Black or Naija Caramel?


I went to this event on my school campus titled " Genocide in the black Community". The topic was about how 50% of black Americans commit abortions in their life time. And how most abortion clinics are targeted at them by locating their clinics in black neighborhoods. Now the crazy thing is that my school is like 95% white students with very very very few black students. My first thought was why would they want to hold such an event on a campus that the focus group is not even present. I mean the silly speaker went as far as saying "the most dangerous place a black baby can be its in its mothers womb". Now such statements like that is just extremely offensive, and then to air such in a predominantly white school...only fosters more prejudices, stereotypes and discrimination on the few black people in school. (in my head i am thinking ...now that hot hot oyinbo boy in my MBA class that i have been stalking would be thinking twice before making me his baby mama....thanks for ruining my dreams..lol..i kid oh.) Anyway trust me and my noise making... we went to the President of the school and filed a complaint, we'd see how that pans out.

I try to always distance myself from the 'black" stereotypes because frankly..we are different people.. my mentality is very different being raised in Nigeria where i am led to know and believe that i am the best of the best wherever I go..to someone being raised in America as a black person thinking they just might not be the best. (Slavery is a bastard men). However as much as i try to distance myself, my world around me here keeps reminding me I am black and that people would continue looking at me with "African American" stereotypes...till i prove them wrong. I remember my first few classes before i could establish Femi b's intelligence..everyone looked at me like i was an idiot, till i proved them wrong.

Am i wrong for trying to distance myself from the 'african americans" stereotype? I wonder if they had very apealling and nice sterotypes would I still want to be my own African, Nigerian, yoruba, girl and not be 'black". I keep wondering how my appearance can show i am nigerian without people hearing my accent...can i inscribe the Nigerian flag, coat of arms or map on my forehead? ) I am sure yardy would be proud of me..i just might be nigeria's sexy mascot..lol.

I saw this website that said stereotpes for nigerians included being .loud, aggressive, clever and starving. Now thats the funniest thing i have ever heard....to be all that but......then starving? men .. hunger dey catch some people sha.... very funny. I was expecting scamming to be part of the list ..but oh well better luck next time. lol

Oyinbo- White person
yardy - Nigeria's current president