Now i think I am sick and tired of hearing people say..."oh you have to have money before you can open your mouth to talk to a girl" or " Women and money". All this just drives me crazy, it makes me wonder so many things. I do understand that there are some gold diggers in this world and from one of my General Psy. classes i learned that Men are more likely to marry because of Love than Money but Women are more likely to marry for Money or security than love...hmmmmmmmm
Now i would give you different scenarios and ask if these women are gold diggers or not. I would stick to "made up names" so as not to identify any race or ethnic group with anything. I'm a lover of the world..I would write one name now and people go dey fire me with cyber bullets that I am sterotyping.....lol
Seefilis is your typical girl just finishing from college and job hunting, she is approached my many but when choosing, she takes into consideration of those that would compliment her. Her parents are on her case to find a husband quick quick and she sees her friends already marrying or on the verge. There are a couple of male interests, but everyone seems to have comas and question marks.Trojayjay is still in college trying to finish his unending degree, G-sirk has been looking for a job for 4 years, and then there is Durects who apparently has a job and things are going on well with him. Now Seefilis decides to pick Durects to be her boo.... is she a Gold digger???
Herpeas is a woman who is striving for the top. She holds a master degree and has outlined her success path in life. she would not be mediocre but would strive to attain the highest level in her career. Now Herpeas and Crown have been dating since high school. Everyone had believed they'd end up getting married. However problems have aways escalated due to Crowns mediocre behavior to success. Crown enjoys his 9-5 normal job and is ok with the idea of such for the rest of his life. When Herpeas trys to talk to him about his long term career goals...he has no answer or clue. Its very obvious that if Herpeas is not making more money that Crown now, she will eventually do so in the future. Now Herpeas decides to end it all that she needs a man who would be on the same page in terms of career goals.
Is herpeas a gold digger?
Esteedis has just finished her undergraduate degree and decides to enrol into a gradaute program in the hope of finding a man while in grad school. She does not intend to work after school and hopes to be the best house wife she can be. A career is just not her cup of tea, but to be able to find such a man that would "compliment" her..she needs to strategically locate herself in places that such "potentially successful" men would be. Her mother has slaved and worked hard and got no rewards for doing such, so she inturn would like to turn the tables and 'enjoy" on behalf of her mother. Lyfestyl is looking promising as a very inteligent man in her grad class. He looks like a CEO material in the future and she plans on doing everything in her power to get him.
Is she a Gold digger?
To me I think the young girls who go for the 50+ men i believe are the only Gold diggers. Everyone likes good things. These men that are complaining that women are gold digggers..i mean if a man has 2 job offers...one offering $30,000 a year and the other with $120,000 abeg which one you go pick? One thing people should realize that it is not only 'LOVE" that keeps people together, but this does not mean one should marry solely for money. To me I intend to make my own money and be successful too...so its either you are secure enough or u strive to "out money " me.
I mean people would complain shes a gold digger then complain again that "oh she's too successful or too independent'
Abeg, bikko , ofaneh ,please which one you want...(i diverted)
Gold Digger or Not!!!!!
36 comments:
as long as those involved r nt complainin...d digger n d mine(understandin dey be dat).neva dless,is a vice versa thin,guys 2 do luk 4 challenges lyk dt to,so i think is a challenge every rite think person will do..go 4 d best on offer.
I do not believe these women are golddiggers, they are just doing what nature has programed them to do.
Why would you marry some one who can not support you and your kids in a fashion that is comfortable to you?
Even female animals in the wild will mate with the bigger stronger male to ensure their survival.
There is still parts of the world where fathers arrange the marriage of their daughters by the using wealth of a suitor as a determining factor.
The question comes in on what is the woman's definition of comfort?
Is it living with a good roof over your head, food, clothes, and safty of the children?
Or is comfort having the life style of P. Diddy?
One is easily attainable the other needs a lot of work.
But it should be noted that men with money tend to have their own requirments of what they want in a woman, it's amazing how a lot of women dont consider that.
what a great post. I agree with clnmike
i identify with herpeas
this one na jamb kweshun o. herpeas isnt a goldigger, seefilis seems to be portrayed as one, while Esteedis get potential. bottomline is, its not written on our foreheads. while some wear their digger uniform proud others wait till they hook u b4 the get into their work cloths.
My take, nothing is black and white and life is in the grey area. So my point is, we all try to make the best possible choice for our context and what we want for our lives. All three of them are just normal woman making normal choices. Now the second one in real life probably decided to leave the Man not solely because his ambition does not match hers. Maybe he no longer fascinate her, he no longer makes her think, he is not her hero anymore, so why, pray tell should she stay with a Man like that. Even woman marrying older men for money must sacrifice something for that choice. My point is we all make choices and we all have opportunity cost for our choices.
Esteedis has gold digger potential. I am Herpeas. I can't marry a man that is mediocre, and i make no apologies for it.
you dont have to be earning more money than i do, I need a man who has goals and is striving for something.
even seefilis sef, i dont think she's a gold digger
for me , esteedis looks like the gold digger...ur made a good point with the 2 job offers example...
peace
hmm!! e be like say temite dey make sense o :p
@ EHIS
well if the both like the roles..i guess t is ok
Clnmike
I like the analysis, next time i hear the g word i'll fire them back with the animal analogy. But then if all female animals want to mate the strongest, what happens to the weak male animal..is he left to wank himself?..lol
Amina
Lots of women would identify with her
CHIEFO
I thought i would have converted a Nigerian guy to believe gold diggers rarely exit.whether they wear uniform or not...who doesn;t like good things?
TERMITE
You said it right..everyone has their reason and we should never lump anyone into one category eg calling women goldiggers or money lovers.
BUMIGHT
hmmm every one wants a man that would add value tot there lives..and me sef i want add value to the mans life.
Simeone
well if course who won't go for the better all things being equal. I am not saying choose solely on money ..thats never the case. me i can marry a pauper as long as he is hard working and striving for the top.
LG
How far now?
MissF, I'm not saying I believe in the G word. I approach everyone with a clean slate. But the slate gets un-erasably scribled on when, on a first date I ask u wat r u getting and the response I get is, "how deep is ur pocket" and order ur take home plate b4 ordering wat u are eating in. Still I won't consider her a G, I just would be more careful.
as long as some men continue to make certain choices, there will always be those willing and able to exploit.
Golddigger or not.
BTW, that picture has me laughing.
Chief Engr. O
I do understand what you mean..i guess such girls people need to stand clear of. Any girl who also thinks the guy needs to pay all the time...should be cautioned too. So run away from those girls that want to be scanning your pocket with their laser eyes....lol
SND
HOw far...Long time no see..
I get oh, these men want to buy you the world and spoil you with gifts. they have spoiled this girls that no one wants to have the mediocre 50-50 relationship anymore. THey say "oh don't work i'll buy you heaven and hell" and indeed they do. How can normal guys compete with that..them done open all these girls eyes
lmao @ the names...
Most women want men who have goals and good futures. But those women themselves have to be heading somewhere and not just be chillin for hubby to do everything. Esteedis is definitely GD potential!
Just Toluwa
Wow I thought i did a good job in hiding the Sexually transmitted diseases and condom brand names. until you!!!
I don't think all women who marry men who are 50+ are gold diggers. but if u marry someone 50 yrs ur senior then that's a whole 'nother story but I still cannot call anyone a gold digger.
Abt the 3 scenarios I can identify with the first 2 but that third one get coma.
Alot of men are gold diggers too! A friend of mine in Nigeria dumped his girlfriend once for another girl who just came back from London and was rolling in dough. When I asked him you know what he said to me "na love I go chop?"
I also don't think that women necessarily marry older men all the time because of $. Sometimes there is mutual attraction. Sometimes sha.
Anyhoo, as for me. There are some exceptions I just can't make. I CAN do broke WITH potential. I CANNOT do uneducated. I just cant. Even if he is a millionaire, if he has no college degree then no way!
Plus some men are the ones who cause gold digging. I know many men who have tried to step up to me with lines like "I can buy you anything you want" or "I can take care of you", etc.
You have been awarded the Uber Amazing Blog Award.
At http://thehappygoluckybachelor.blogspot.com/2008/11/sjp-flatters-me-by-awarding-me-with.html
gold diggers are different from people with a vision and goal for the future. and these women you described have visions. what is wrong with that? then the world over we are all gold diggers right? cos i left a job after a month for another with better pay?
i am with Temite on this...there are grey areas in this life...what someone sees as gold digging might just be normal to others..
i also agree with you that Love is not enough!
If I may ask, what's wrong with gold digging? Who doesn't want to have the best? This gold digger thing has been practically blown out of proportion in recent times and the funny thing to note is that most critics of the gold digging act are the insecure ones who are either too broke and too shunned or too insecure cos of some paltry change they've got.
I choose not to call it gold digging. Let's simply call it 'Digging for a good life.' No woman (or man for that matter) wants to be stuck with someone that has nothing good to show especially in terms of finances. You want a good woman, get some money and guarantee you could take care of both of you.
Nonetheless, women too have a point to note. It's the 21st century. No man wants to hang out with a liability. At best, a rich guy would hang out with a broke girl cos of the 'bush allowance' and once he sees someone who won't milk him of his hard-earned money, he moves on. Well, there could be exceptions sometimes and that's where the L-O-V-E thing comes in. That's by the way now. So gold-digging and 'digging for a better life' has two sides to it and everyone's involved - the women and the men too!
Femi, I understand what you are trying to push along. But see, there is another situation that surrounds me here o.
Okay, I am just coming back from a party with a friend. She wanted me to come along with her. I don't know the girls there so well, but there's like a 'clique'. Well, I am there jejely, and then someone whispers into her ears(and i hear): Is that your bobo? she answers,'no'. And then I could see the girl scaling me up. Then she asks again, 'is he toasting you'? At this I waited for my friends response. My friend begins to laugh and bones the question. Next, I hear(and this makes me mad)...WHAT CAR DOES HE DRIVE. AH! FEMI! Not only did this make me remember my former car(I miss you, Apology)...THIS MADE ME REALLY MAD!
Okay, now, my Client Support lady, really wonderful gal, she tells me about her paroles and all...she has like 7 guys asking her out. She doesn't think any of them are husband material, but she goes out at night with at least 3 of them...giving them different times to pick her up. Well, what do we call that?
But I fully support what you wrote in your mail!
LOL @ the names! U r simply hilarious!
Ok, i really dont think any of the scenarios r golddigger material...theres nthn wrong with wantin the finer things life has to offer...i guess golddiggin is relative...
LOL @ the names! U r simply hilarious!
Ok, i really dont think any of the scenarios r golddigger material...theres nthn wrong with wantin the finer things life has to offer...i guess golddiggin is relative...
@burra-pls correct this malfunction jare wey dey make u drop 2 -2 comments for pples blog....by the way.......u don hijack my space for baroque's blog na......so we both did c.
I find that it's often the guys who aren't "gold diggable" that complain front right and centre that women only want gold diggers. In actual fact like some have said, a lot of women are looking for someone with drive, ambition and goals. It's no surprise that those people also tend to either have money or be on their way to having money, while the guy who thinks he's being rejected because he isn't rich doesn't realize it's really the other character flaws—laziness, directionlessness, or lack of ambition—that's hurting his chances.
A lot of Nigerian women I know are hardworking and ambitious and very well educated, and plan to have careers and contribute financially to any relationship they find themselves in. They're not looking for a man who's going to install them in a mansion and leave them to eat bon bons all day while they work (though they may dream of this once in a while sha).
As long as the guy has goals and dreams and is motivated to be the best he can be, the contents of his wallet is not my primary concern.
different strokes for different folks...
My parents work damn hard to ensure I get everything to set me up 4 life...so they gave me best education money can buy.
I got education so I can be somebody...so why shud I rely on a man's money. If I like some1, it's because we clicked. To be sincere no one wants a loser...
A loser in my definition is a man who refuses to see a future 4 himself, he doesn't have to be successful yet but does he strive to at least provide 3 days meal for himself and if he cannot at the moment, does he aspires to do better? Give me a hard-working man anyday. I hate guys who think they have to impress me...just disgust me!
He can have everything I might like in a man but if his mentality is just too shallow then he shud forget me completely.
I cannot say u r stereotyping...it is some disgraceful women that tainted all our images.
I ddnt read anybody's comment b4 I wrote this...cos I want to say what comes directly from my mind.
Please let's get it right: a 'gold digger' is very different from a 'focussed digger'.
A gold digger does not have a plan and is not ready to work to get money. A gold digger waits for opportunity to milk the benefactor. This is a typical example of most Nigerian girls now. They are only interested when you have money to throw around. Once you're down financially, they move to the next 'victim'. Of course, there is always nemesis waiting to catch up with them.
On the other hand, some people are focussed diggers. They are serious-minded people who only go into relationship not because of the flashy stuffs. They are rare in a typical Nigerian setting.
In a nutshell, we're all diggers but how you dig determines your type of person.
FemiB, I am waiting for your comment.
Happy thanksgiving!
like my igbo folks will say ..."Who no want better thing"..... aint saying she is a golddigger but ....................... am not suggesting that all women are golddiggers but i must confess that money commands respect with most (not all ) women
i an with princekay 123 on this!well said
Am new here. This is cool.
sum babes dnt ave brain but beauty n depend on a guy 4 even dia underwears n pad,dy dnt think of geniunely avin a source of income all dia wahala is on a guy n sum r competitors in a relatnship,dy put dia man on his toes in other 2 get d best out of him,but ladies in dis category r few while dat on d other r many..dy see no gud in a guy but his wallet determines d relatnship...enuf respect 4 african mothers(gold diggin was nt dia pre -occupatn like most ladies of 2day).
I remember a dude that walked up to a girl and said 'wa kin tun aiye e se' [come, let me fix your life up...or something like that]
I gotta admit, some of us men are the cause of a lot of the ish going on
I agree perfectly with Princekay123. Most Nigerian ladies are just out to suck u. From Silverbird galleria to Megaplaza to Mr. Biggs, but wen u're broke they fashy u. That's bad. Meanwhile, if u spend on a lady and that lady shows concern about ur work or means of sustenance and even borrow u money to invest, that's not gold-digging!
Gold-digging is connected with the d fallen standard of values and morals in our families and society.
Nice blog, Femi. Personally both parties have to shine dier eyes well well before marrying. And there some things that are just common sense. Love is definitely important but couples that have been married for years will tell you that u fall in and out of love with ur spouse over the years. And money is one of the top reasons why marraiges break up.
Now Seefilis (LOL!!) i see nothing wrong with her choice. As for Esteedis- ALL men shld avoid her cos she's probably the type of woman that wld bail on her man when things shld become tough.
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