Finally i am able to share this wonderful experience to y'all. It has been biting me so much, that i have not been able to come up with berra berra posts. so let me explain what this is about
name: Femi B
Job: Expert witness/consultant
Job description: Translating pidgin English to English for the district attorneys office
Ma people..na so i see am oh. I got to work one day and my boss told me that she got a call from the district attorneys office asking if they had any Nigerian individuals in the school that would be willing to translate a Nigerian language. Well, me i said i would do it...you don't know whether one day you might need a favor from the county, so i decided to help out. (u know.. maybe if i do well they fit dash me blue pali..lol)
A couple of days later, I went to the district attorneys office and was introduced to the case and was told what i had to do. A Nigerian individual, i'll call him Pretty Ricky to keep his identity before them wooze me slap. Anyway Pretty ricky had been arrested for some kind of bank fraud (419, yahoo yahoo, forwarding and backwarding..anything u wan call am). Well Pretty ricky was in jail and had been making phone calls from jail and speaking to individuals in pidgin English about the case.
Now as an expert witness, my job was to listen to the phone conversations, transcribe and translate. This was not an easy job as...pretty ricky is from the south eastern part of Nigeria ,meaning he is faster in his pidgin and to make matters worse, he was a stammerer. Anyway i was told i'd be compensated for time spent..so extra money to listen to pidgin....i told the lady "norrin norrin, i go do am'
During all these translating sessions..i kept wondering if i was a sell out Nigerian..helping all these oyinbo people convict my naija bro, especially when i heard him speak with his children who are very very young. Then i thought to myself..these are the people who are spoiling the Nigerian name...that is why anytime i say i am Nigerian, they check my documents 5million times..thats why there are too many hassles at embassies , point of entries, closing business deals and being introduced to your non-Nigerian friends parents. I am sure my naija people in the diaspora know what i mean. It aint easy to be a Nigerian in the international community.
Now the bombshell came when Mrs ADA said i had to testify in court and be infront of pretty ricky and well wishers..them even dash me subpoena (na supina i dey spell am b4 oh ). I was frightened oh, men i can just be walking on the street and one fan of pretty ricky go come give me one gbosa like the one on lg's blog. Then i thought..ahah this na Femi B..... person wey fit do that to me...dem no born am yet....ahah contrary to what you may think..i am a rough neck..lol ..damn i couldn't even complete that statement without laughing. Whatever, i sabi front well well soo...
Now the annoying thing was the compensation..... infact i am angry at the mugu moves i did . Mrs AdA asked me how much i want to be paid but that it has to be through my office in school. Now in my head i am thinking $30/hr but my boss told me to say $10/hr that the office is doing it for like free..??? (ahah na she dey translate? abi na she know all the funds used for me to learn pidgin) anyway i decided to say $12/hr..bolo/mugu move on my part. Then after i signed the contract, i later found out they pay translators $150/hr. Chei...i wan cry well well. I showed my concern .but wetin i go do...i don open mouth yarn nonsense and Mrs ADA sef soji well well. Well next time...once bitten 2x shy.
I appeared in court and it was the most nerve racking..i thought i was the one on trial. Defense attorney was just firing me with this question that question...i wanted to yell at him..ahaha na me fraud commonwealth of Pennsylvania..abeg free me joo. But pretty ricky just dey squeeze face...dey try locate my face..me i dey dodge the stare down like i dey dodge bullet. After i finished the 45 mins cross examination, I just ran out oh....i was shaking like a wet dog.I was supposed to wait and listen to the rest of the case so i can do proper gbeborun to bloggville but men, anxiety catch me and i just left the court....only to meet pretty ricky's kids in the lobby..my heart bled for them oh...oldest must have been like 8 and there were 3 of them.
I might call Mrs ADA later to fill me in on the gist sha.
THATS IT OH.. FEMI B AS AN EXPERT WITNESS....... I need to go find my own bodyguard now...fineboy agbero..how far? i know you fit do that kind job? my inspirational peeps aloted, oluwadee, rita, simeone..abeg please pray for me oh.
News Update!!!
Mrs ADA just called me now now and said the jury said i was the star witness... . Also the story is going to be published in the local papers tomorrow. click here
35 comments:
ok, I must admit that you've been scammed! $12/hr for a $150/hr job?
neways, not to worry, you did the right thing, you're no sell out. the sell outs are the likes of pretty ricky ruining our image abroad.
I can also organize my dear mi(FBA) to organize some other agberos for security purposes, lol, but it'll cost you sha!
i can organize sekuriti for u. but with this ur $12 wey u collect i no go fit charge u like i suppose now. i bin wan ask u how many hrs u spend make i fit feel the kind pain wey u dey feel cos i know say translation no be easy work.
share some of the new words u go don add to ur pidgin vocabulary abeg. PIDGIN! nigerian language? hmmmmm na true sha, more people speak pidgin than yoruba, igbo, and hausa though.
If there is anything like a challenging job, this is it, not easy at all...You are a strong lady...
May God give you strenght, guidance and protection...
You are not a sell out o, He did something wrong, but like you, I would have felt wretched. Gosh seeing his kids, oh my God!!! Pele sha. Umm the government did yahoo fo you o. how dey fit reach $12 from $150. No be good thing. My boyfie is in the russian mob so I can get someone to fix him up real real good fo una. (I keed, I keed)
I can only imagine what u felt when u saw the kids but even they need to know that their father did something bad and he is only being punished for that.
u testified against a scam artist and u got scammed. na wa o but y did they av to ask u how much u wanted when they knew what they pay others?
I gotta agree with the others...you are not a sellout. You did the right thing and in fact you showed any doubters that there are good Nigerians out there, and they don't need to fear or be wary around all of us.
About the pay, yes you could have gotten more, but something tells me that the $150 paycheque isn't a starting salary, if you get my meaning (maybe I'm wrong sha) ;)
(and yeah, next time o, this star witness is going to get big bucks!)
Make sure you post the article here on blogville (delete or scratch out names as needed). Congrats!
congrats dear' i m so proud of u n yep u r not a sellout anyone dat says otherwise .....direct him/her to me :-)
i feel for ricky kids tho' (sins of d fada) *sigh*
Now as per ur bodi guard' no bodi qualifies except ...................
FBA N i ll be his manager...dat one mean say na me go dey collect him salari'
*d paper wrks r ready wenever u are
:-) :-)
Femi B is a star now...girl for real o..that courage to go thru with it..no be small tin oo
worry not jare..norrin do you and norrin fit do you..
pls next time start from $200/hr...
bless you,good naigirian
@ temite..russian mob .u sef u be gangsta
hehehe....... they gbaaa'd u. $150???? pls how many hrs did u do? ur not a sell out o, people like pretty ricky should be convicted and let Nigerians have a good image...... awww local champion, appearing in newspapers and all..... can i get ur autograph??????
oh my word...reading this i felt like i was watching a funny episode of alley macbeal...lol..
yah u dey call am pretty ricky...is he pretty ;-) pretty yahoo boy! lol
ah no o..mrs Ada no do u good o...kai 12 gini?? eyah.. pele
and no u r definitely not a sellout...felt sad about his kids though but he brought it on himself.
star witness ..i am proud of u!!! pls scan the local paper for us o..or if them get website let us know...
and no worries..we go pray...no weapon/pretty rick's gang fashioned against u shall prosper...
Holy Ghost fire shall pursue them!!!!
Bumight
thanks oh...pls abeg hep me organize don't worry cost is no issue.
Chiefo
i'd say pidgin is a Nigerian Dialect. now as for new words... believe me by the time if finished analysing the phone conversations...Mrs ADA began to speak the pidgin.
Rita
Amen oh Amen and may we all continue to wax strong.
temite
russian maffia..iraqi mafia nko?
Iwalewa
Don't mind them jare..next time i know wetin i go charge.
GNG
thats how i felt sha...you know i wasn't an expert witness and i was doing it through my school.
LG
how many people are FBA"s manager..haba how many managers can an agbero have
Simeone
MOst def $200/hr next time
Fums
I am not the one appearing in the papers..its just the case thats appearing i the papers...anyway i can still give you my autograph..lol
Aloted
Pretty Ricky aint pretty oh... thats the first name that popped out of my head . hes no even near prettyy. Thanks for your prayer oh
Femi Beeee! Wedone o!
Well, my own: This is where you need my services. I dey do juju we we!
The kine juju wey dey no go even recognise you again.
Jokes aside: Femi, you have just too many adventures around you. lol.
Interesting!!!! Let me print this!---another bedtime story
150 to 12 per hour...na dem be the real scam artist! ahn ahn..
anyways, i feel bad for d kids, i dunno why parents dont think about wat it would do tho the kids when they get involved and caught in things like this. ehn! sad!
You are not a sell out! Don't ever feel like that. I believe it's the like of pretty ricky spoiling us (Nigerians) and giving us a negative name over there. Well done jare!
You are not a sell out, sista. We need more people like you that are brave enough to deal with this sort of thing. I think you're very brave to do what you've done. Please keep your wits about you and keep safe too. All the best.
Go femi B.
But they 4 add small money 4 u o.
Anywayz next time u go soji.
Off to read bout the case.
I congratulate you on doing the right thing, though I must say, you didn't get paid enough for your 'star witness' yarns. lol!
My sista, no fear, between fineboy agbero and all of us bloggers, nothing do you!
=)
wonderful story, what a life?
First time here and funny story. I'm glad you decided to go through with putting this scammer behind bars. He should have thought about his kids before he decided to make a leaving ripping people off thier's. I have no doubt that if he came across your grandma, he'd have zero squams about ripping her off too, naija or not.
Oh wow....i can imagine how u felt but what is wrong is wrong...thank God for givin u the courage..i no think i fit do am o..
Sorry bout being cheated o..that musta hurt mayn..
this post had me cracking up...lol...u2 dey fear o!
lol @ d name pretty ricky..m guessing u r nt a fan of the group.
i dont think u were a sell out joo!!!
From Archi to translator/witness...lol!
"na me fraud commonwealth of Pennsylvania"...dat was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing.
Hws U? et life?
hahahaha!!! nice post!!!
Shey u see say i be correct bodyguard? I even get two pretty sexy managers!!!
Oya, my charges: three bottles of paraga and 3 wraps of weed per hour for me and my two other boys! And u go fly us in o!!! Obodo oyinbo, here I come!!! Emi ke!!!
ANd yes, my managers... they'll get in touch with u for their own pay!!!
Kai, Ms.Femi B you never fail to make me laugh!
But they did you strong thing sha...$12 ke?! Hey on the bright side you'll be in the newspapers! And you werent a sell-out. Like you correctly noted, it is such y419ers that give Nigerians a bad name...so much so that Oprah even knows what mugu means!!
You cant blame yourself for his scams. I admire your courage cos I certainly would not be able to get through my testimony without wetting my pants. Anyway sha, better change your address...
@seye
Yes oh Adventures by Femi B. I don't need juju oh ...Jesus is my padi. I dey kampe
Just ..Toluwa
Well i think its all about greed.
Dee
Thank you men.. I am not and i repeat NOT a sellout Nigerian
Naijalines
thank you my sister...as for the wits..I'm sure the jury enjoyed me well well..lol
Oluwadee
Yes i will soji well well..infact i am doing something about that right now
SNd
thank you oh..nothing do me. I know there a lot of "agbero like" people on here. I fear not.
Sola Folowosele
I wonder if i am pronuncing ur surname well. it is a crazy story.
Abbie my new new padi
Yes oh even though i never saw any grandma,,,im sure he'd scam her.
Burabura
Yes oh..i wanted to cry. but what is wrong is wrong and i would do it in a heart beat. It was a nice experience doing police and thief...lol
exschoolnerd
I just used the name becos i always wanted to use the name..maybe i'll name my first child pretty ricky
Doja
I am one to care about children, no matter what their parents do. But i see what you mean.its truly sad
Littleangelforchrist
I guess i am a jack of all trades
Fineboyagbero
per hour..Y'all be to high to protect me. NO worries..i go organize boy the boys..and the sexy managers.
NDQ
Well..i am not in the news..but the case is sha. Don't mind that oprah. she doesnt know there are good ones like us.
Yar Mama
I don't need to change my addy...i dey kampe..he is behind bars...nothing nothing...Amen
are u for real?
SPEECHgirl Bucknor
I am for real oh...it happened well well
My updater says u've updated with "Its not my fault..joke" but I can't find it. Pls where is it?
hey ive put up pictures of the school..u cn check it out!
Chei Femi B, how you come miss dat kin money? If na me, na nightmares for the next three weeks ooh!
Anyway, hope fear no catch you again?
Enuff pidgin, how are you and how have you been?
Babe,
Now that you are a celebrity, can we still drop comment on your blog without going through all those protocols and formalities? Hope you will still be accessible to bloggers.
Sometime ago, a politician almost took over your blog comment moderation and now, you are in the news as an expert witness!
Norrin do you jare! You are up to it babe! How you dey? Miss you plenty!
BTW: When are we sharing the 'loot'? lol
lol! Thats hilarious! a yeh- u shld have asked around and done a search online regarding rates. but now you know. $12p/h just wasnt worth it meehhn.
As for the 419 guy- i kinda feel you on not being too comfortable selling out your fellow 'peeps'. but look at it this way- if this ur fellow 'peeps' fit do 419 for u- he will do it in a heart and not think 2ce about it. the intelligence used for this dodgy business shld be used for something legit.
This should have been here days ago. Somehow it didnt get posted.
I must say I admire ur courage. U sure got guts. I’m not sure I’d want to be such a witness especially given the fact that I’m not that clean myself (who is?) Well it appears the scam catchers are scammers themselves, else how’d they have agreed to pay u $12 an hour when they’re well aware of the standard fee. Security? I have links and I cld arrange that for $200 an hour. Now I’m fair if u wanta look at it well. What do u say?
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