Gender bias, How i hate it so much.
I was talking to some naija dude and i asked him to tell me about himself.....
"Give me your 15 second elevator speech, sell yourself" i said
He goes..."erm I'm 6'2 dark, ladies man, very sexual....I mean i have a high sex drive" (HSD)
Now, I'm thinking to my self... (not judging the guy, i mean its ok to have a healthy sexual appetite) ...and wondering if a female gave that same 15 second elevator speech, wouldn't she be considered a ho! (amongst naija folks). Now i am definitely not equating the fact that since the dude has a HSD, he automatically is a ho!!. I wonder what the definition of a HO!! is? Or the fact that some guys would say "OH she's been around" around with who? if shes been stigmatized cos she has been around with "these guys", then I hope "these guys" too are stigmatized and labeled as "oh he's been around".
The point I am trying to put across is the fact that women are more likely to be degraded in terms of their sexual prowess than their counterparts. I believe an Ashewo (ho) transcends all gender...it does not discriminate. I think i have more male friends that are ho's than female friend ho's. (hmmm.. are they my friends or acquaintances..... hmmm my mother says show me ur friend and i'll.........I am not a ho oh!!!! lol) What again is this definition of a ho? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME OUT! My friend who is a Human Rights lawyer told me about a case she is handling whereby a man divorced his wife because she was moaning while having sex.(lol, next time she'll bite her lip/tongue and shut the hell up!!!) I thought that was just ridiculous, shouldn't he be proud of his performance and his ability to please her? Then again, i think about female circumcision and the basis of it that a woman would be promiscuous if she did enjoy sex. ..... I guess it was probably those men that could never satisfy their women as a result of their shortcomings, so they decide to formulate this stupid theory and make a useless law out of it.
So i say more of us women need to be in the government in some way...Politicians, Lawyers, Human rights activists, law makers/enforcers, noise makers ...etc the more women that are in such positions and roles, the more we are able to be heard and rid these useless things they keep using to demean us.
7 comments:
Well there is that double standard that I don't think we'll see the end of in our lifetime: a man who sleeps around is a stud, while a woman who does the same is an ashewo.
I think everyone's definition of what makes a someone a ho is dependent on their own personal life choices. Someone who has enjoyed many partners will probably be less likely to see their behaviour in that "ho" light, while someone who's saving sex for marriage might be inclined to think anyone who has had even one or two partners is promiscuous.
I think it's a real shame that there are men out there who would try and prevent women from getting the same enjoyment from sex as they do, and female circumcision and that divorce case you mentioned both are sad.
Femi B, take am easy now. We are not that bad now.
@goodnaijagirl, i see what you mean cos as i grow older, the cross line for a so called ho gets very blurry. and about those cases...na so i see am oh
@andy, Oh don't get me wrong...I do love Naija men to bits and i know everyone is not like that. Only calling out on some silliness in our world......very interesting i must say
I guess more is expected 4rm women.
I personally believe if a man sleeps around he is a "Ho" or is it a Dog, and vice versa.
Are you people trying to start a revolution here? lol!
I think it goes both ways...Just that the african society seems to make the man appear so larger than life and the woman is practically non-existent! But, outside the African continent; particularly in advanced countries, it is a woman's world!
It sure feels good to be a woman in Europe but not in Africa...
Thanks for your down to earth comments on my blog! You've got a great creative mind!
How you dey?
hmmn...well thot out...
There's sth I wana say and I hope I dnt come across wrongly...
there are some feminists that I cant stand,for obvious reason but you're a self acclaimed one and darn I appreciate you more that mere fact...prollly cuz u actually deal with issues that beg attention...
As for the whole distinction till 2mao I still try to understand why being a playboy is seen as "cool" and a babe being round the d block half as much as our "playboy" is seen as a whore
You are quite right. I wonder myself how it is possible for all that labelling to stick. I guess we have accepted it, and the very few that voice their opinions are attacked as feminists...
This is very insightful though, but I fear it is a topic that can't get resolved for a looong long time.
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