My Random Thoughts and Experiences

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Submit to me boo

The word Submissive..... hmmm It seems to be most Naija men's favorite word and the only verse most of them know and remember from the bible....holding on to that passage like their manhood depended on it. This post came as a result of a statement that I made ....that both husband and wife be submissive to each other and it seemed I had over run my mouth with that statement

Below are some verses I'm sure we ladies have heard it drummed in our ears

Colossians 3:18-19 (New International Version)

Rules for Christian Households

18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Ephesians 5:22-33 (New International Version)

Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Now Lets examine the word SUBMIT, SUBMISSIVE, SUBMISSION

Here are a list of dictionary meanings of the words above

  1. unresistingly or humbly obedient
  2. acknowledging one's inferiority
  3. characteristic of a slave or servant;
  4. characterized by tendencies to yield to the will or authority of others
  5. passive
  6. modest
  7. Docile
  8. Subdued
  9. patient etc
So No. 1 says be humbly obedient, so are we saying only the wife is to be humbly obedient and the husband is to be proudly obedient or humbly disobedient????

No. 2 says acknowledging ones inferiority. I mean which man wants to marry an inferiority complexed wife.....does that make the man feel better about himself?

No. 3 says xteristics of a slave and servant. Well just as NO. 2 i don't think anyone wants to marry a slave or a servant or am i being naive here?

No. 4 says yielding to the will and authority. I guess you can say the man is the head of the family and he has the final say after consulting his wife. This one actually makes more sense..

No. 5 thru 9 either should not exist in a marriage (who am i to say) or both spouses should partake in the adjectives.i.e modesty should go both ways and absolutely no one should be subdued unless in fulfilling a sexual fantasy (do i hear dominatrix?)

The point I am trying to make here is that the word submissive is not cut and dry as it has been put out there. And if the bible says wifes do this ...that doesn't mean husbands shouldn't ,for instance the bible also says husbands love and honor your wives...does that mean in return the woman should not do that cos the bible specifically said it to the husbands? I know my reasoning might just be weird but i think that Sometimes, for our own selfish reasons and ego, we choose to take the bible and carve it in our own way ..quoting it to make us feel better when you know Jesus aint mean it that way.

for example

1 Corinthians 14:34 (New International Version)

34women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.


Totally random
Today for the first time, i heard about vibrating panties/pata/pioto/underwear/pant you can buy in the store that have remote controls to set the frequency.....hmmmmm Now that gives an idea for gifts for Vagina Appreciation day


Good Naija Girl said...

There's another entry on this topic on the Soul Sistas Heart blog...seems like submission is a hot topic around blogville.

I personally think I have a good understanding of what submission is or isn't, and I think what's important is to make sure that the person you are dating or planning to marry feels similarly, especially because like you mentioned, humans are in the habit of interpreting the bible in a way that justifies their own actions, or serves their own needs.

I hate to say it but some men DO want a wife who they feel is inferior to them, so they can have that feeling of superiority. It's sad, but it does happen. Same with #3. To me the key point you made when analyzing #4 was "he has the final say after consulting his wife", which shows the (equally) important role the woman plays in the relationship.

Funms-the rebirth said...

One topic i avoid commenting one cuz its two ways but men like to stick to the explanation that makes them the superior one....
btw vibrating panties? na wa o

Writefreak said...

Thanks for stopping by
My husband and i say you can find a verse in the bible to support almost anything you want to do!
Nice entry!

Geebee said...

Now Femi b, you’re becoming such a strong women’s right activist and I’m wondering you won’t start campaigning for women to begin to head the home soon. Seriously now, I believe submission should be on both sides. Women should of course submit to their husbands and the men need to do the same. There should be equality (to an extent though) and no one is necessarily a slave to the other. It takes maturity to handle a marriage sha and that’s why the immature have no business getting married. Your definitions are too tight. Thumbs up, abeg! Meanwhile, I just heard from the grapevine that Geebee has been nominated on naijabloggersaward for BEST STUDENT BLOG. Please show this brova some love and go vote from 12 midnight today. Cheers.

Femi B said...

Thanks for the info, went to read and learnt more about this issue

Yes how that exactly what i wa oh

Write freak
You definitely shed more light on that issue and yes people translate the bible or disreagard what they don't like and stresson what they like

@ geebee
COngrats Im jealous, first of all thats the problem a lot of guys have, once they see women talking about equality you automatically think we want to run things and head the home. NO, its been established the man is the head of the house, im not disputing that at all. SO your idea of me thinking a woman should head the home is quite wrong.

Buttercup said...

u wud think that by now, the men who take submission out of context wud have gotten with the program..but nooooo..mscheeeew!

wow..vibrating the world just keeps getting crazier..

Anonymous said...

On submission - I completely feel you. I am still trying to understand it. Oh and I WANT THOSE PANTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! The pic for this topic just describes the perfect girlfriend; nice body, perfect ideology and naked... only if.

P.S. - Still anonymous... Am I going to get deleted... LOL

Anonymous said...

I feel the whole issue of submission depends on to whom one is submitting to.

If it is the right person, you need not worry about being or seeming inferior because you are not seen that way. Just like a child would warm his/her parent's heart to the extent which they are ready to do anything for that child, the same goes when a wife is submissive to the RIGHT PERSON. the husband would be just as vulnerable if he truly loves the wife.

Think about when you want something from your parents, we all reort to the never failing formula of doing what they want and we reap the reward.

I am not saying a woman should always do what a man wants to get anything from him, i just believe if he is truly wise, he would not take you being submissive for stupidity and would always put you first in every decision.

I can never date/marry a woman that feels inferior becuase i dont think she would ever make me progress in 2kobo.....

oso pimping said...

i think that it is the IDEA of submissiveness and subserviance that puts off most women rather than the actual act. For example, whoever i marry MUST recite the phrase "love Honor and OBEY". Now i know by itself, this will cause arguments among y'all womenfolk, but before you go off, let me state that I myself will recite those same words to my wife at that same time. It boils down to long standing pride issue that exist between man and women. A real man accepts his wife as an equal withe different roles as defined by THE COUPLE.....not SOCIETY. Holla @ me!!