Men, I have been MIA for a while. I am writing this thesis of mine, that if I put the topic up here, y'all think it was the most boring amalgamation of words ever... but i am actually having fun with it. I am so busy with it and my adviser is also being a pain in the .... Anyway, I have noticed that when talking or writing there are some words that make me cringe, blush, or get angry when I hear them. I try not to use such words and find substitutes for them. Below is a list of the words I don’t like to use or hear
Breasts – I hate that word, I’d only use it when I say chicken breast. I rather boobs, tits, teetes, bresconyan, chestices, breastices, manchesty etc
Ladies – oh my! I don’t like all that formality, it’s like someone calling me a beautiful damsel. I rather, females, girl, chic, babe, omoge, sisi,
Courtship – eww, like we are in the 13th century in the days of Constantine IV. I mean whats wrong with the words dating, relationship, shag buddies, etc
Handset/ GSM – these are usually for my naija people. I mean what’s wrong with calling it what it is, errr.. a cell phone, mobile phone or just plane phone.
Menstrual Cycle/ Menses – just say period or aunty flo, and why the hell does it have to start with MEN.. I bet some guy coined the word to crack an insensitive joke…lol..damn females can never have their way
Deflowered (as related to virgins) – What the hell? I wonder who first considered their hymen to be a flower….well one might think the name or place sounds or looks flowery…
Machine- This is also for my naija folks, it’s a scooter or a bike etc..
Male Nurse- if theres a male nurse can we say female nurse too? ok im being too picky but hey…
Then the regular swear words like Fuck, bitch,Cunt, Nigger/nigga/niggies/nigress/niggaz, pussy, (well only if I have to describe my newly learned dance called pussy popping….its very PG13 oh)
So what are those words y’all just hate to hear or you would rather die than use the word?
PS....*Private thought*: where in the hell do all the farts go? Do they evaporate, mix with the air, mix with other farts and make fart babies (damn that would be some serious smell) or just travel to the ocean, heaven or hemisphere?