Chivalry with Vex Money

As much of a feminist I like to proclaim, I still somewhat love some types of chivalry to its fullest (Hypocrite you might say), Anyway, I remembered growing up in Nigeria and not having to pay for anything at most outings with male friends. You only carry your "vex money" and you're good to go.

For all who don't know what vex money is... Vex money is the money you take with you just incase you decide to vex for the guy and leave him , or the guy vexes for you and he leaves you ...either way someone is vexed and there are still bills to pay or a cab ride home.

Now, I came to this so called "diaspora" lol.. that just sounds funny ...OK i came to America, and all that chivalnonsense pora bi iso ( disappeared like a fart).

My first dilemma was while in Minnesota, a couple of my male African friends had asked me to come with them to a Chinese restaurant to go eat. I said ok, and since I was going with about 4 guys, i felt there was no need for me to take vex money, even if i needed it, I did not have any money. So I went with them and when we entered the Chinese buffet (its the ones you pay first before you eat) and everyone began to do "OYO" (on your own). Chei!!! i just decided to pose and say " you know, i don't really like Chinese food and I don't want to eat here" ( you know Chinese food is too greasy and blah blah blah) . All i know is after that day, I vowed to never leave my house without some type of vex money/card and I thought to my self ...this can never happen to me in naija oh, me go out with a bunch of guys and I'll still be paying....NEVER

Anyway I have always had the school of thought not to be the only one on the receiving end all the time, at least if some dude pays 60% of the time, its my duty to match up with the remaining 40%. That's my policy and I'm sticking to it. However I have found out that this 60% -40% split only works for naija guys in the diaspora and hardly ever works for naija guys in naija. (or maybe only guys i know)

If i do like someone, I'll probably suggest to pay after about 4 dates or so...lol Anyway during my naija trip, I hung out with a couple of old male friends i had. Every time we went out, they paid and paid and paid, so after a while, I began to kinda feel like a burden..(i don't know why) but i felt the next time we went out, i'll do the paying. Now when i went ahead and did this stunt as they called it, I was heavily chastised for it and they felt that I was
1. Either trying to flaunt my money ( they totally misunderstood my broke self)
2. I was angry at them and felt i needed to insult them by paying
3. Or America has screwed with my brains

Now my people, KI NI BIG DEAL?? (WHAT THE HELL IS THE BIG DEAL?) After all, i was just trying to play my own part and besides, these are the same guys that complain about "hungry girls" always trying to suck a man dry. I mean I was a little offended that my lil gesture was ridiculed and totally misconstrued.

Another thing I've noticed is when I was in naija and you invite people to your party, as a host and celebrant...you are in charge of feeding and taking care of your guests. However in the diaspora..lol , that is not really the case. You either pay for your dinner or pay to drink alcohol...yeah some Brazilian dude threw this birthday bash some 2 weeks ago and decided to collect $10 from his guests before they entered the party.

My people abi... What is all this??? Am I alone here in my thoughts?

My First Tag

Hi y'all, Hope everyone had a wonderful "v" day and presidents day too. My weekend was a weekend missing naija food. ( all i'll say is I'll never ever use frozen spinach for efo riro again...)


ok tHIS IS MY FIRST EVER TAG, OR MY FIRST EVER TAG I'VE RESPONDED TOO I was tagged by Geebee

OK i think i so broke all rules because i sometimes like to be a non-conformist.

QUESTION AND ANSWER’ TAG

Q & A.

where is your cell phone? on the bed besides me

where is your significant other? on his way

your hair color? Black

your mother? Amazing

your father? Great temperament

your favorite thing? Art, Internet, colored pens

your dream last night? being pampered by my mother (weird i remember)

your dream/goal? Success from making a positive impact

the room you're in? bedroom

your hobby? listening to music while doing art and dancing in front of the mirror

where do you want to be in 6 years? naked on a beach in Taiwan...kidding I'd love to be in Kyoto

where were you last night? At a friends room

what you're not? a girly girl

one of your wish list items? a pent house glass studio overlooking an amazing view

where you grew up? Ibadan

the last thing you did? talking to my parents while taking a dump..lol

what are you wearing? sweatshirt and underwear

your tv? on

your pet? my art works

your computer? Toshiba

your mood? Relieved

missing someone? yeah a bunch

your car? Toyota Celica

something you're not wearing? Bra

favorite store? Walmart ( where else in the world would you be able to get an oil change, pedicure, buy chicken, hammer and nails at 3 am in the morning)

your summer? Enlightening, learnt more about myself..looking forward to this summer....more things to discover

love someone? Yeah ..before... i think

your favorite color?Green

when is the last time you laughed? 3o mins ago

last time you cried? 2009, when leaving my dad

are you a b*tch? Hell no

favorite past time? being 21, nah dancing in front of the mirror semi nude with heels

are you a hater or a lover? Lover..

are you genuine or fake? Genuine

any vices? plenty

pro life or wire hanger? Life

mccain or obama? Obama

pro plastic or natural? Natural

dream job? President of Nigeria/ Onilu ( band singer)

Random Love Post and a naija love letter

Hey y'all its the season of love again and i felt i needed a post for the period so bear with me ...this would be my most random post ever.


True Love
Over the xmas break when my Dad was critically ill, I looked at all the roles my mum played and I said to myself..."men I have to really love my husband to do all this shit for him" I mean after 34 years...someone should have over pissed someone off to the extent of not caring about the well being of the other...for instance .. A man who's married to a wonderful wife but maltreats his wife in anyway possible by cheating, beating... all manner of abuse and does not provide for the wife, then 30 years later, the man falls critically ill, men I trust myself...well i wont blame the woman for overdosing him with some painkillers, mixing cyanide with his coffee or flat out stepping on the oxygen tube ( I joke oh). I mean she would be very much justified....I don't condone murder or but self defence is ok. So guys treat your ladies well, cos she'll be there for you when you need her the most. (you know men die well before their wives....just a thought.)

Random Love
Today i was chatting with a friend and he said " how is your vday"? the next thing that came to mind was " do you mean how is my Vagina day"? (i really don't know how that popped into my mind) Then i thought..hmmmm what if there's actually a vagina appreciation day... I wonder how that day would be celebrated. I recommend gifts for every functioning vagina....I wonder what type of gifts though.....

Exercise Love
Ok I've been attending this Yogalates (Yoga and Pilates) class for about 2 years now. I have been somewhat faithful to it (its once a week) and i've seen some improvements in my flexibility. Anyway last year the week of valentines day, the instructor introduced some new moves that required some serious pelvic/groin region manipulations. I mean she had us in some gravity defying positions ...concentrating on flexing and stretching the pelvic region. This was the first time she had introduced these new moves and I wondered if it was a coincidence or she was preparing peoples pelvic region for new and exciting positions.( hey hey it was a thought then) But now I am convinced she is preparing her students for vals day cos..men!!! she introduced the same positions today and i felt my ass was going to tear...(sorry for being too explicit but i have to really explain my agony) I guess she only introduces these pelvic moves on the week of vals day for a genuine reason.

Letters of Love
I got this email from a polish girl with a Nigerian boyfriend, she saw my naija love letters and wanted to use them. I was happy ..hey if they can create more love..more grease to the letters, so i decided to unleash another one in yoruba. OK i kinda had these few lines a while ago..actually an ex gave them to me .(not in a romantic way oh) he helped me compose them a lil....here goes

I wont be putting any accents cos frankly..no matter how hard i try..they'd still be wrong so why bother... This would be for a girl from her guy..i guess lets call her Suliat from Ayetoro

Suliat Kan,
Mo feran re bi oyinbo tin feran ciga
Iwo ni olori oko mi
Kaka kin fi e si le..ma ya bomi lo
mo fe ki o mo pe mo wa leyin ree bii ifo
Dakun fenu kun mi lenu , pemiloruko kosi fami ni irugbon

cash ya larer
Oko afesan re....James

Translation
The one and only Suliat
I love you as the white man loves cigarettes
I am all yours
I'll die if I ever leave you
I want you to know that I am 100% behind you like _______ (ok i can't remember what that word means..someone pls help me out)
French Kiss me pls, call my name and pls pull my beard

Catch You Later
Your Fiance......Mr James


Random Question
Ok I was about to enter the elevator from the basement level going to the second floor. I was waiting for the elevator to arrive, when one teacher walked up to me and says "oh let me be lazy and keep you company"
SO my people..was he calling me LAZY for taking the elevator???? I mean i was going 2 flights now!!! Why would be be bringing his wahala and join mines.....lol

More Stories and all that jazz

Wow, this my trip to naija has made me begin to get blogging laziness...anyway I'm never a quitter so we would see how that pans out. Now speaking of "PAN" heard a new word this week and I felt i needed to share. Anyone heard of a "Pan- Sexual"..yeah thats the new word I learned oh. anyway a Pan sexual is a person who is attracted to all forms of the "sexuals" in other words such a person would do a transvestite, transsexual, transgendered, bisexual, homosexual, metrosexual, hermaphrodite, heterosexual and lots more...wow (Don't ask me how I know......someone who works in my office is one.)


One day while in Lagos, I went to pick up something from my brother-in-law on the island. Anyway, the driver and I were stuck in traffic and on getting to a zebra crossing, the driver slowed down to allow pedestrians cross the road. Now these pedestrians had gotten half way when some car drove passed (not stopping ) and almost ran them over. Seeing a perfect opportunity to yell at these useless lagos drivers since we were still stuck in traffic and the guy was in a questionable convertible. I said questionable cos men...it looked quite weird and i mean weird in a horrible way. Anyway I rolled the window down and tried yelling at the guy

Femi B: didn't you see the zebra crossing...
QCCD (Questionable Convertible Car Driver): looking back not hearing me Excuse me..what?
Femi B: I said you just passed the zebra crossing almost...
QCCD: Hello ( probably thinking i was trying to holla at him) I can't hear you
Femi B: yelling PAY ATTENTION TO THE ZEBRA CROSSING
QCCD: Huh? whats that?
Femi B: I said pay attention to the zebra crossing, you almost ran those people over ..
QCCD: (looks back and changes his accent to one conk igbo trader accent) Na.. na... na..na your papa get am?
Femi B: in anger ...OLOSHI ( stupid fool) yes now na my papa draw those lines..stupid fool

Its just funny how many people don't pay attention to road signs and all. another time i went to visit my sister at her office. Now she had been telling me to dress properly and all..(I guess she wanted to show me off, pimp me or her own weird trick to get me to kack up). Now i decided to wear a nice dress and some killer heels. Killer in the sense that men they killed me that day.

Anyway the driver decides to miss the way and drops me like 5 million blocks away from where I was going and silly me got down thinking ..yeah i can do this now....my feet won't kill me too much. Anyway by the time i got to the building about to cross the street ..I thought my feet were going to give way and i was going to die from the excruciating pains caused by the silly man who invented heels.(Im sure it was definitely a guy who invented heels,thongs, push up bras..anything that would make females a living hell)..
Ok I am standing by the zebra crossing waiting to cross the street and no one would slow down for me...i thought..haba I am almost dying... these shoes are going to make me commit suicide ..cos the next thing i did was just cross the street and not care if i was hit. At least if I was hit...the feet pains would go away. I also was not going to run across..hell no in those killer shoes ..tufiaka.
Well as I entered the street, cars began to slow down but those okada bastards.... men they were still coming in full force..but I was not bulging...I go catwalk on this zebra crossing...cos I no fit run. Anyway Okada man then begins to yell at me ..." you better comot that thing for your leg" men no one in Lagos is patient.

I'm Back and more stories

Praise the lord, I am back..my dad is much better. (He is out of the hospital recuperating) I want to thank everyone for their prayers and warm messages. They all gave me a good feeling during the trying period of my family. Men bloggville is too much

Now I am back in the states and I have a whole lotta gist about my trip. I don't even know how i would begin to spill it. I'd start with the crazy Nigerians i met during this trip...starting from the craziest.

Very obnoxious dude on the plane.

Ok there was this guy quite on the heavy side, all sweaty...wearing a dirty white t-shirt. Baggy jeans that looked like skinny jeans on him. NOw these baggy/skinny jeans was encrusted with rhinestones all on the back pocket. I am trying to take my time to give you a vivid description so you understand my plight
. Anyway this man caught everyones attention because he kept cussing and swearing at the security because some "Belgian" woman was searching him. Anyway he kept yelling throughout the terminal and even in the plane. "fuck shit this is naija..i mean what... bullshit.....yeah naija shit fuck"

Now as i arrived on the plane...i prayed to God pls lord let me not have anyone seating next to me better still let me not have this obnoxious dude seating next to me..... but alas God had plans to humor me. Now obidike (not sure if thats his name but it sounds a lot like his name)was graced to be seating next to yours truly already taking up half of my space. here goes our conversation

Obidike (on seeing me) Jesus!!
Femi B: Why did you say Jesus?....is there a problem?
Obidike: No nothing..he is my brother and I am calling on him
Femi B: Well He is my brother too ,but you seemed to have shouted Jesus in reference to me *** abi am I that beautiful??***
Obidike: my name is obidike ..(stretches his sweaty hairy arms stinking of beer) Nice to meet you
Femi B: (dying from the stench of old beer and sweat) Hello im Femi B
Obidike : I am from Anambra...where are you from?
Femi B: I am a citizen of the world...i don't reference any country.
Obi: HOw? abeg tell me...how i go fit get that kain ting....you dey work for a world organization abi which NGO (Non-profit Org.) you dey work for..abeg show me the way.
Femi B: (laughs uncontrollably) I am only joking, I am only a citizen of the world by heart
Obi: (not getting my joke) please now..tell me...how? wetin you dey do to get that kain thing...abeg now
Femi B: ( decides to continue playing the fool) well sorry they don't just give everyone...you have to walk in my shoes
Obi: (stretches forth his hand and grabs my legs to view my shoes) shey this na the shoe?
Femi B: (appalled at the nerve!!!) Abeg leave my leg wetin cause that kind thing.. and i meant shoes figuratively speaking not literally ok

Then dude goes into a whole speech of how civilization began in anambra and how anambra holds the holies of holies. anyway I decided to raise my feet and place them on the seat in front of me..only to realize..dude had a foot fetish of some sort. Straight he went for my feet and began rubbing...

Femi B: haba what is all this rubbish..( removes my leg forcefully)
Obi: ahah why you dey shakara, please put the feet back
Femi B: (looks around in the full plane for another seat...seems like i'll be seating next to a sexual predator with a foot fetish for the next 6 hours)

We kept battling with the feet and then he tries to start to rub my legs in the process. I wonder where my fire went because i for don whoze am with ifoti to gbona feli feli ( hot slap) but i just choose to be civil and warn him and remove his hand.

Then dude went to sleep and began his snoring feast. I said a quick thank you to God at least he wont disturb me again. only for his hand to be wandering to my thigh and knee trying to rub whilst in deep sleep. Haaaa wetin be this? what is going on in his dreams?? is he sleep rubbing or wetin? I removed his hand and throughout the course of the flight, maybe he did it about 3 times again.


I wondered about my reactions..was i so occupied with the thoughts of leaving my father back in Nigeria in a slightly better condition?, or the fear of what was in stake for me with my landlord since i don dey owe am rent, or school because i had prolonged my stay because of my dad. Too much in my head to want to deal with this pervert of a guy. anyway we got to France and men i ran far away from him not to be seen near him again for the rest of my life.

I kinda asked him what he did in America, because I was curious at what kind of personality he had to hold some type of job and he told me to come to his house to find out...Tufiaka...olorun maje God forbid..thats how i would go there now and then i'll meet a range of cut off human feet nicely displayed on his wall.



Thanks once again for all your messages. I wanted to try and meet some Naija bloggers whilst away but men too much hospital drama and imagine thieves also came to our house in the process. WHEN IT RAINS IN POURS!!!!!

LET ME GO AND TAKE MY ANTI-MALARIA B4 all those mosquitoes begin to send fire e-mails to me from Nigeria

Nigerias Healthcare Nigerians Healthscare

I have been thinking about moving back to Nigeria for a while now, and every time I come home for the holidays, the thoughts become stronger ...until now. Nigeria’s Healthcare system has scared me big time. It seems there are remedies for all Nigeria’s problems if you have money, but one thing you can't ignore is healthcare. One can tell me”but Femi B if you have money, you can travel out of the country and get treatment outside" But my reply is what if time and movement are huge factors? One leaving in Nigeria should just pray that they never fall really sick because.......

Here are a few problems that bothered me to the top. But I’ll give a quick synopsis

My dad is ill so we've been in the hospital for a couple of weeks now. They tell us to consider ourselves lucky because first, he is in the best hospital (UCH) in Nigeria in terms of expertise and he is in the private suite wing of the hospital (meaning he pays more he gets preferential treatment and a "hotel like" room. BULLSHIT!!!!!

1. This so called "hotel Like" room never has constant water running, we beg them to fetch water and they give us attitude. Light is never constant (a couple of times he has been administered drugs and care with the nurse placing a flash/torch light in her mouth so her hands are free to administer care to him. Nothing is handicap accessible; you literally jump out of the elevator onto the landing (that’s even if the elevator works). Equipment regularly malfunctions or there is no power to turn them on. With all these silly issues, they are charging crazy for their so called "private suite".
We’ve brought our Generator, water, toiletries, gloves and much more because they seem stingy with theirs e.g one tiny harsh toilet roll for one week.

2. Most of these nurses and in-house DR.'s don’t know what they are doing. We have to keep our own chart and document everything because they are not doing their jobs properly or they forget what drugs they've already given him. Mosquito has almost chopped me with the lack of flush doors and mosquito net. And they still charge crazy money
ok maybe their hotel like room, big enough, tv,ac, hot leaking fridge, computer &internet, private bathroom aka bathing disaster, nice paintings, automatic bed the nurses don’t know how to operate and less more..Lol.

3. Using the toilet is a disaster as one has to spread legs so as not to be hitting the sink or the shower basin, because there is no ample space. One would be thinking with this design the contractor must definitely be a retard....nothing else. everything is elevated and there are no ramps, I mean how does one who is confined to a wheel chair or a really sick person manage to enter and have good bath well well without tripping and cracking a skull or two...lol and they continue to charge crazy fees.

Then if they say we are lucky, I wonder what happens to those in the other wards and those that have not gotten money to have such "hospital Luxury". I mean I met a lady down stairs one day asking me to aid her with her son’s drug bill. I imagined it would be so high that was why she could not pay it. Then I asked her to show me the bill, it was N1, 200 ($10) men...I was humbled, I gave her the money and see how this old woman was kneeling to thank me. It’s embarrassed and saddened me a bit. I wonder how many others out there not able to afford some basic things.

Today is the last day of the year, Im thankful for family and friends, those that are praying, prayed and those who are even financially helping us too. More grease to your ashy elbows and may your elbows continue to be greased throughout 2009. Seriously, May God bless everyone tremendously, may God know your house address and may the devil loose your house address... Amen..till next year.
Have a wonderful new year everyone.

UCH Holiday

At the ending of summer this year, I had some weird thoughts about how I had a perfect family and how everyone was fine and dandy. I looked at each one of the members of my family and not one had any problem or so ever. We have never had any misfortune or any serious issue that couldn't be taken care of. I wondered if God favored my family so much because when you hear other stories of different families....... Then i thanked God and asked him to preserve this grace and mercy over my family.

Now months later, planning to come home to Nigeria for a wonderful holiday, and i came home to nights, days, holidays, birthdays and all in UCH (horrid Hosipital in Ibadan). I asked God why why why? because all i could remember was ..He has always given us grace to triumph such in due time and it seems like this nightmare does not want to end quickly especially during this festive period. I mean how depressing is xmas day in the hospital. (even the UCH staff tried to cheer us up by giving him a gift and taking a picture. I was so mad, who wants a picture remembering such nonsense)

From this experience I have been greatly humbled. I have had some serious pet peeves that now i must say i have overcome them. eg
I can never seem to stand to watch someone brush their teeth. I would almost puke. (however now, I do that for my dad and even much more. I refused to change diapers for my lovely niece because i thought it was just nasty but now i do more for my dad.

My dad is still in the hospital now and i pray daily that he gets better than even before. Tomorrow is going to be his 66th birthday and it pains me that his plan for his "jeans and mini skirt party " would be holding in UCH this year. I love my dad dearly and i believe he is the best dad i could ever have


I remember the year I was to come to the US to study. My mum had travelled and had asked my dad to make sure i got my student visa or she would hold him responsible. My dad in his busy schedule drove me to the embassy that morning and we began to queue. A couple of hours later, we realized that he had forgotten his money bag at yaba which is quite far from where the embassy was considering the traffic in Lagos. My dad suggested going back to the house, but i told him that if he went with his car, he might not be back by the time they call for me and I would not be able to pay for my visa fees and that would hold a huge problem eg not getting my visa

My dad decided to charter an okada man (dangerous commercial motorcycles) in his native attire and head to yaba and back in due time. My dad then was the chairman of Ibadan North Local govt, (like a Mayor of a county) and was also clocking 60. He told me that while crossing the 3rd mainland bridge, he used his fila (hat) to cover his face so no one would recognize him. That small act by my dad made me have the uttermost respect and love for him because i wonder if I was 60 and holding a public office, will i ever take okada (dangerous commercial motorcycles) to aid my child?????


Happy Birthday Akinbayo Olufemi Beckley. Get well soon. Aint i lucky..im named after both my mum and my dad.

We don Land

Got to Nigeria and went straight to the Hospital. Please help pray for my dad. He is really ill and in the hospital. I have a lot to say about Nigerias Healthcare system but for now, Im focused on doing all i can for my dad to be well and i'll begin my rant of my Nigerian Holiday experience, beginning with the very useless Health care we have.

Miss my blog rounds men ...... saying the internet i've been using in Nigeria is slow ......is a huge huge understatment. I mean if all were like this, I wonder how people don't smash their screens in frustration.

Original, Americanized/westernized

In a while i'd be leaving the cold of here and heading for the scorching heat of naija for a rockful xmas. I intend to keep blogging as I hope to get unlimited Internet access by God's grace. Anyway I love listening to all types of music and Nigerian music tops the list once a while. I had an argument with a friend of mine about the originality of the Nigerian music out there now. I must say the Nigerian Music industry has grown and developed in the past few years and her complaints were most of them were not original in the sense that they were copying the west in terms of music and music videos. Now I would try and be an advocate for both sides and y'all be my judge to decide the case.

Original

Or so

Being original, we could say we need to keep our culture our heritage. We need to be proud of who we are and stop copying the west on everything they do. Our Music must showcase we are Nigerians ...we are Africans. We have been brainwashed to think that parts of our culture might be "fetish". But this is only done to discredit what the west does not understand. We need to be proud of who we are and no matter what type of culture we have, it needs to be portrayed in all we do. How else can we show that we are not inferior to others if we don't portray our own and be original with what we have. 

I mean...if i want to listen to hip-hop, rap, pop, r&B etc, I would stick to the Americans because it is theirs and they know how to do it well well. We need to coin our own and let the world know. The jamaicans have their reggae, trinidad has their soca music, 

why can't we coin ours?

Westernized

Then again we could also argue in favor of the westernized music in that every other thing of our lives are mimicked around the western culture. I mean we live in an interdependent globalized world.

Language, 

We all speak some form of a western language. our native languages are not part of our national language

food, 

Well, we have incorporated a lot of westernized food in our cuisine

wedding

white wedding dresses, some ceremonies and the works are definitely not part of our culture, so does that mean we are not original or in touch with out culture

Movies

We all follow American movies, music, politics, everything

Clothes

Well our casual clothes are very much westernized.

So if we have 98% of our daily life surrounded with western culture, why cant music be part of it to. If i listen toamerican rap music and american hip hop all day, when i want to rap my own.... (garbage in garbage out).

Personally, ... I would listen to any kind of music as long as it is good (vocals, lyrics, beats/musicality) Americanized or original. As long as they are not using Beyonce's beats or Lil Wayne's hooks im ok with it. I guess it is easier to do what you know. A lot of people do not listen to the traditional music anymore and even when they have music awards in Nigeria, fuji, apala, afro juju, juju etc are all left out of the categories. So where do you want these average artiste to dig out their Africaness or Nigerianess from??

First video Rugeddy Baba ft. 9ice

Second Video Dj jimmy jatt ft. Blaise, Sasha (my high school hommie), Bouquoi, Kemistry.

Femi B

I am so busy with school and travel plans, that I feel I am loosing my blogging mojo and i have started to feel guilty. (I need my mojo back) That sounds so funny cos, i remember mojo also meaning blue film which also means porn...hmmm anyway i feel Like it is a sin now not to update kia kia. I have so much posts to do, but since my brain is all scattered from finals, I'll reserve my thoughts till when final finishes. BTW I am also going to Nigeria for a chieftancy title..yes ke I have been awarded Iyalode ajagunrocker of Blogvilleland situated in Ibadan. I kid oh but im going home for the holidays..yippee. I trust my family..one week of pampering (generator, A.C, real Pounded yam etc) then the remaining weeks doing "house girl" duties. I'll just use this post to do a lil soul searching......who femi B really is


Femi B
Pregnant women, maternity hospitals and new born babies frighten and irritate me. (i am seriously praying against it)

I am disgustingly afraid of cats..i think they'd spit in my eye and i'll go blind

My favorite past time is dancing in my room in front of the Mirror naked (completely sometimes) with heels.

I pick up hobbies as fast as i drop them....most are crafty and artistic/funny hobbies

I absolutely love dark humor. or maybe i see the humor in everything

I imagine how bloggers look like and i have been dead wrong all the time (met some bloggers over thanksgiving break...they are the nicest people ever)

I imagine the lives of people i see and play a movie of them in my head

I always wonder if my parents still have sex and if they do.....what do they do??? my parents are in their 60's

You'd be my friend for life if you can act a fool with me at a blink of an eye. (good friends/good clowns are hard to find)

I have broken my ankles four times and 2 of them were on the same day but 2 years apart. (I can be clumsy)

My ultimate retirement plan is to be a sexy onilu (band singer) i think i might just have the vocals to do fuji,,,my voice sucks but i think I can be quite nasal.

I hate driving because i hate to concentrate for a long time. (my mind likes to wonder)

I am yet to accept my brothers in law as family..nothing personal, they are very nice guys but its taking me longer to see them as family. hmmm..maybe becos i secretly feel they have broken my nice close knit family by taking my sisters away.......lol. holidays and family pics would never be the same again. lol


And lastly i think about moving back to Nigeria all the time. When ....i don't know